(last blog ..Hindi Mana hai..continued).....
I came outside from examination center like a cool dude. Suddenly, my posture changed and i was appearing as if i was chewing gum and started walking fleetly. Why?? Because i found some pretty faces outside the center and really don't want to reveal my condition in front of them. One guy came to me and asked "Hey man!!What happened??? Is there any problem". Now my all emotions(anxities) came to my face (why to hide from guys ?? :P) and i started explaining my situation to that fellow. People were getting inside examination room one by one. In the last, i found myself sitting with peon and talking some nonsense.
It was around 9:30AM, when that corpulent figure (my black female invigilator) came out and asked me to submit my driving license as well. I cried again "Mam!! I have already been to US of A". But there was nobody to listen, as she already entered in the manager's room.
***************************To Be Continued*****************************************
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
Monday, 22 October 2007
We "The coy boys"
I have great commiseration on those girls, who leave these coy boys and roam around with Stud guys. You must be wondering, who are coy boys and stud guys. Let’s first talk about Stud guys and their characteristics. A male, age between 21 and 26, despise the people with his cool look and always seen with one or more females. Age criterion must be met to prove STUDNESS. That’s why I am keeping 21 to 26. Male below 21 are called “Peanuts”, not fully developed and obviously I have to keep some deference to Indian government as well. A man over 26 is called “Uncle”, expert in all eve teasing activities, and going towards the age of destruction called marriage. So, let’s concentrate between 21 and 26, where mind is totally distracted and tying to wander with as many females as possible. Below are some features of stud guy:
1. He is ostracized from normal male community and always seen alone.
2. The girl is a tonic to him; he can’t survive without this ambrosia.
3. He lost his self respect and always fucked up by one or more females.
4. He forgot how to dress like as man, and always forcibly dressed by his girls’ friend in feminine look. Why because he have to look cute?? “The cuteeee” hehehehe
*******************************To be continued**************************************
1. He is ostracized from normal male community and always seen alone.
2. The girl is a tonic to him; he can’t survive without this ambrosia.
3. He lost his self respect and always fucked up by one or more females.
4. He forgot how to dress like as man, and always forcibly dressed by his girls’ friend in feminine look. Why because he have to look cute?? “The cuteeee” hehehehe
*******************************To be continued**************************************
Mein aisa kyon hu
Likhna chahta hu magar pencil kho gayi hai; Lagta hai aise jaise zindagi so gayi hai
Dair se uthna, late night sona; Lambe-2 phone calls aur kaam par rona
Thak gaya hu is zindagi se kya karoon; Hardiwar jaaonn yaa fir yahi par sadoon
Sochta hu ab kuch kar lena chahiye;Mujhe bhi zindagi mein kuch ban lena chahiye
Magar kya banoo yahi sochta hu;Life mein kuch nayi cheez khojta hu
CAT bahut easy hai kaise karoon;GRE karke videsh mein kyon maroon
IAS baanna mere bas ki baat nahi;Itni padai karne ki ab meri aukat nahi
Company mein job karna bhi kathin kaam hai;Naa raat ko chain hai naa din ko aaram hai
Consultant ka kaam fir bhi easy rahega;Magar uske liye fir english kaun prepare karega
Doctor nahi banooga kyonki usmein lag jaati hai;Choohe billi maarne mein meri phat jaati hai
Beauty parlor khol leta hu bada mazaa aayega;Daily maal aayega aur mujhe masaaz karvayega
Lekin usmein bhi shaayad success nahi ho paoonga;Roz Roz ladkiyon ki gaaliyan sun nahi paoonga (heheheheheehe)
Ye chote mote kaam karke mein kya hilaoonga;Gen mein apni life kyon barbad karvaooonga
Mumbai jaata hu aur filmstar ko patata hu;Magar koun si sahi rahegi yahin confused ho jaata hu
Decide kar liya hai ab vohi karoonga;Mallika Sheravat par hi try maroonga,
Vaise bhi uska koi boy friend nahi hai;Aur meri bhi life mein koi girl friend nahi hai, (hehehhehe)
Jaldi se Mallika ko call lagata hu aur uske dil ki baat batata hu
Mallika ne call uthaya aur boli hi dear;Phone mere kaan par tha aur haan mein thi beer
Maine bola mein tumse pyar karta hu; Aaaj hi apne dil se izhaar karta hu
Mallika sharma gayi aur meri baat par hansi;Usne bhi bola i love u aur mere jaal mein phansi
Hum dono daily beach par jaate hain; Aur sabi logon ko kam kapdon mein nazar aate hain
Jaise hi mein sand par bhagta hu meri chaddi khishak jaati hai; Aur peeche se mujhe kisi ke bhokne (barking) aur gurrane ki aavaj aati hai
Aankhein khulti hai aur mein bistar par so raha hu; Apni chaddi ko roky (dog) ke muh mein dekhkar ro raha hu
Roky bada kameena hai roz mujhe jagata hai; Agar nahi utha to chaddi kheechkar le jaata hai
Mammi bula rahi hai nahane ke liye; Manager ka phone aaya tha company jaane ke liye
Software professional hu mein yahi meri life hai; 18 ghante office mein bitata hu aur discover mein bike hai
Sabhi software vale bandhuon ko mera salaaam; abhi bhi time hai kar lo kuch aur kaam...heheheheheheh
Why do a few men never get girl-friends
This isn't my creation, but thanks to that fellow who has written this in such a wonderful manner.
The often repeated topic. It seems to be a mystery until you really start thinking. One of my personal favorite, why some men can never fall in love or never get girl friends. Many of us just keep complaining, without thinking on what the inherent problem is.Thankfully, I did it as a case study and found out some important issues which might concur with a majority of ppl who are rocking the same boat as mine.1) You always sit in the last bench with the other class comrades who feel that its possible to get marks sitting in last row. In case of workplace, no girls are there in your project and you have like minded ppl like you as colleagues and wherein your entertainment oscillates between the bars and cinema theaters.2) You obviously cant groove and dance, and dance around in a group in a disc by just shaking your head or grooving your hip. Desi music directors areyour favorites. You cant wait for a bangra number to crop up. Unfortunately, you are too adept at dancing dappankuthu or desi dance, not the americanised western hip hop dance.3) You perceive discotheque to be a place where you will have a chance to unleash your dancing potential (dappankuthu) and occupy the center stage with 10 other fellow rogues, immediately throwing out the babes from the vicinity of the dance floor. This automatically repels the women from you (they consider you as out of civilization. But, unfortunately we think that we are the only ppl who can really dance)4) Your Intelliegence quotient mostly can take in just Jackie Chan, Arnold and Stallone flicks. It can take in just action films whose contents can be absorbed. You just can't take any English Romance films. Desi romance rocks. We invariably are the DDLJ and Hum Aapke Hai Kaun types. Shahrukh, Rajni, Kamal, Mohanlal, Mammotty, Chiranjeevi rock. Tom Cruise is a dud!!! and invariably ***...(obv..its becoz of jealousy)5) You cant eat Spanish, Chinese foods and your fav restaurant invariably happens to be Saravana Bhavan, Anandha Bhavan, Shanthi-Sagar types. Of coz we cant forget Karpagam Mess, Mami's kadai and Murugan Idly. We frankly are clueless as to what are Bella Ciao, Wang's kitchen and things like that, unless we happen to go an a treat organised by the other guyz.6) You dont see a reason why you have to go to Barristas or Qwiky's when the local corner "Nair Kadai Chaaya" tastes like nectar and satisfies you more than a Barristas. Lime tea is the best tea to have been invented by an human and you are thankful to nair for providing it to you.7) Most of the jokes you know are adult jokes which you can discuss only with your other fellow comrades and which again takes the oppurtunity from telling a joke to the girl and impressing her. But when you seriously tell very good jokes, the blondes can't comprehend. You have to tell some absolutely "Kadi jokes" (terrible bores) to make them laugh, which you try however, will never come close to.
8) You obviously dont know how to make use of Yahoo Messenger, and you use it to scold your online friends with the best choice of invectives, spread rumours abt other guyz, and ask them to book the latest movie tickets. You unfortunately dont know how to flirt using Yahoo Messenger and are frequently at loss of topics when you want to chat with some girl. Whereas you are deluged with strange topics to discuss with your friend with whom you had lost touch for the past decade or so.
9) While chatting in messenger, you seriously cant start a topic with a member of the oppoisite sex. I have seen guyz chatting with girls purely with emoticons for more than a hour. You can never do that. You will have to crack real dumb jokes to start the conversation or falsely extol them. And bet, you can't do the following:Boy : What did you have for breakfast??Girl : I had idli ....Boy: Is it??? Same pinch, no back pinch, I too had idli. (he slyly pinches her) and laughs.Girl : Ouchhh (artificially). It hurts.Boy: Ohh.. I am sorry and (tries to apologise).............then says "I had sambhar for idli."Girl: (excitedly)..Sambharrrrrrrr............ i had chutney....and giggles...I swear, I cant tolerate any longer than this................ And this is not a figment of imagination, by any means. I have seen this...Though I agree there may be exceptions..10) You cant sing a Bryan Adams, Sting, George Michael's song. When someone talks about Linking Park , you cannot even imagine who they are and the closestlink you can associate with them is Cubbon Park .11) You seriously are clueless as to what rock music is.12) All through college life, you belong to this boyz gang and even in your gang, nobody has a girlfriend. So there is absolutely an absence of the inspirational factor.With ALL these attributes, it is difficult for guyz like us to fall in love or find a girl. But it is not a sin after all. I guess we are not made for it. We are one among the few in the vanishing tribe. Let us accept that and be proud of that...
We have THE uniqueness that we remain single till we get married and having that trait is really a virtue and who knows, we might be the elite clique in the future.So all those of you who feel sad that they dont have Gf's, just chill!!! We are not made for it and I swear that for our characteristics, a GF would not have added any value addition and we are better off staying single till 28 or 30.
The often repeated topic. It seems to be a mystery until you really start thinking. One of my personal favorite, why some men can never fall in love or never get girl friends. Many of us just keep complaining, without thinking on what the inherent problem is.Thankfully, I did it as a case study and found out some important issues which might concur with a majority of ppl who are rocking the same boat as mine.1) You always sit in the last bench with the other class comrades who feel that its possible to get marks sitting in last row. In case of workplace, no girls are there in your project and you have like minded ppl like you as colleagues and wherein your entertainment oscillates between the bars and cinema theaters.2) You obviously cant groove and dance, and dance around in a group in a disc by just shaking your head or grooving your hip. Desi music directors areyour favorites. You cant wait for a bangra number to crop up. Unfortunately, you are too adept at dancing dappankuthu or desi dance, not the americanised western hip hop dance.3) You perceive discotheque to be a place where you will have a chance to unleash your dancing potential (dappankuthu) and occupy the center stage with 10 other fellow rogues, immediately throwing out the babes from the vicinity of the dance floor. This automatically repels the women from you (they consider you as out of civilization. But, unfortunately we think that we are the only ppl who can really dance)4) Your Intelliegence quotient mostly can take in just Jackie Chan, Arnold and Stallone flicks. It can take in just action films whose contents can be absorbed. You just can't take any English Romance films. Desi romance rocks. We invariably are the DDLJ and Hum Aapke Hai Kaun types. Shahrukh, Rajni, Kamal, Mohanlal, Mammotty, Chiranjeevi rock. Tom Cruise is a dud!!! and invariably ***...(obv..its becoz of jealousy)5) You cant eat Spanish, Chinese foods and your fav restaurant invariably happens to be Saravana Bhavan, Anandha Bhavan, Shanthi-Sagar types. Of coz we cant forget Karpagam Mess, Mami's kadai and Murugan Idly. We frankly are clueless as to what are Bella Ciao, Wang's kitchen and things like that, unless we happen to go an a treat organised by the other guyz.6) You dont see a reason why you have to go to Barristas or Qwiky's when the local corner "Nair Kadai Chaaya" tastes like nectar and satisfies you more than a Barristas. Lime tea is the best tea to have been invented by an human and you are thankful to nair for providing it to you.7) Most of the jokes you know are adult jokes which you can discuss only with your other fellow comrades and which again takes the oppurtunity from telling a joke to the girl and impressing her. But when you seriously tell very good jokes, the blondes can't comprehend. You have to tell some absolutely "Kadi jokes" (terrible bores) to make them laugh, which you try however, will never come close to.
8) You obviously dont know how to make use of Yahoo Messenger, and you use it to scold your online friends with the best choice of invectives, spread rumours abt other guyz, and ask them to book the latest movie tickets. You unfortunately dont know how to flirt using Yahoo Messenger and are frequently at loss of topics when you want to chat with some girl. Whereas you are deluged with strange topics to discuss with your friend with whom you had lost touch for the past decade or so.
9) While chatting in messenger, you seriously cant start a topic with a member of the oppoisite sex. I have seen guyz chatting with girls purely with emoticons for more than a hour. You can never do that. You will have to crack real dumb jokes to start the conversation or falsely extol them. And bet, you can't do the following:Boy : What did you have for breakfast??Girl : I had idli ....Boy: Is it??? Same pinch, no back pinch, I too had idli. (he slyly pinches her) and laughs.Girl : Ouchhh (artificially). It hurts.Boy: Ohh.. I am sorry and (tries to apologise).............then says "I had sambhar for idli."Girl: (excitedly)..Sambharrrrrrrr............ i had chutney....and giggles...I swear, I cant tolerate any longer than this................ And this is not a figment of imagination, by any means. I have seen this...Though I agree there may be exceptions..10) You cant sing a Bryan Adams, Sting, George Michael's song. When someone talks about Linking Park , you cannot even imagine who they are and the closestlink you can associate with them is Cubbon Park .11) You seriously are clueless as to what rock music is.12) All through college life, you belong to this boyz gang and even in your gang, nobody has a girlfriend. So there is absolutely an absence of the inspirational factor.With ALL these attributes, it is difficult for guyz like us to fall in love or find a girl. But it is not a sin after all. I guess we are not made for it. We are one among the few in the vanishing tribe. Let us accept that and be proud of that...
We have THE uniqueness that we remain single till we get married and having that trait is really a virtue and who knows, we might be the elite clique in the future.So all those of you who feel sad that they dont have Gf's, just chill!!! We are not made for it and I swear that for our characteristics, a GF would not have added any value addition and we are better off staying single till 28 or 30.
Hindi mana hai
It was Wednesday, when I dressed up neatly and was trying to convince myself "Dude don't worry, you are gonna rock today. It's just a matter of 21/2 hours. Just go and do some shit.” Yeah, that was the day when I was writing my exam almost after 2 years.
The morning was as usual great with the snoring sounds of 2 great animals. One was growling near to my bad and second one was grumbling in the hall. Really, a very thunderous morning with little bit farting efforts, which were adding great flavors to that obstreperous clamor.
I took my books and was trying to remember some old mathematical formulas and myriads of jargons in English. I promised myself not to be slept during this whole period.
At the last, waiting ended and I was standing in front of examination center. I was wondering that still I see 4 girls, sitting on the stairs, and trying to grasp whole book as soon as possible. Believe me, nothing has changed. Girls will always be like that. Anyway, I ignored them and showed no signs of pressure, which was bubbling inside my stomach as well (last day I had Kaayam chooran). I joined the clique of two smokers, who were trying to appease each other by saying something about that bullshit exam.
Smoking is really a good habit which brings people close to each other. They offered me cigarette and I accepted whole heartedly. The chat stared and after 2 minutes only we were grousing about the pattern of that examination and the fucked up syllabus.
Discussion went on, where we only criticized that creepy exam. At 9:00 AM sharp, those phony called us, appearing as if they were VIPs (The camouflages). One locker was given to me, where I had to keep all of my belongings, including my purse and bag (which was pretty big). I tried to push it inside that space but it was bigger than that of empty space. Suddenly, I heard a clamor; one girl was shouting some silly and goofy rules. I ignored her (as I do always) and was busy inserting my big guy inside that smaller void. That ferocious young, ugly lady came behind and started crying: “You must listen all the instructions. We are not going to repeat again.” “Ah this sucks man, who will listen these boring lectures” I told to myself. Anyway, there was no way to go; I turned my face and started listening impatiently (obviously, I was busy on other side).
“Who is Puneet Sharma??” One dolt shouted and asked me to go inside. Yeah, I was just 10 meters away from my target, my computer where I had to spend 3 precious hours of my life. I sit on the chair and interviewed (Not exactly). I saw one corpulent figure sitting in front of me, glaring me with full anxiety. “You sign in Hindi. Can you produce any identification where you have signed in English?” Lady cried. Ah that was too much, didn’t she know that I belong to MP where my native language is Hindi or she could not realize from my appearance (Untidy and shabby). “Sorry madam, I don’t have” I shouted.
I was really shocked to hear; lady asked me to go outside and confirmed that I couldn’t appear in the test.
***********************************To be continued************************************
The morning was as usual great with the snoring sounds of 2 great animals. One was growling near to my bad and second one was grumbling in the hall. Really, a very thunderous morning with little bit farting efforts, which were adding great flavors to that obstreperous clamor.
I took my books and was trying to remember some old mathematical formulas and myriads of jargons in English. I promised myself not to be slept during this whole period.
At the last, waiting ended and I was standing in front of examination center. I was wondering that still I see 4 girls, sitting on the stairs, and trying to grasp whole book as soon as possible. Believe me, nothing has changed. Girls will always be like that. Anyway, I ignored them and showed no signs of pressure, which was bubbling inside my stomach as well (last day I had Kaayam chooran). I joined the clique of two smokers, who were trying to appease each other by saying something about that bullshit exam.
Smoking is really a good habit which brings people close to each other. They offered me cigarette and I accepted whole heartedly. The chat stared and after 2 minutes only we were grousing about the pattern of that examination and the fucked up syllabus.
Discussion went on, where we only criticized that creepy exam. At 9:00 AM sharp, those phony called us, appearing as if they were VIPs (The camouflages). One locker was given to me, where I had to keep all of my belongings, including my purse and bag (which was pretty big). I tried to push it inside that space but it was bigger than that of empty space. Suddenly, I heard a clamor; one girl was shouting some silly and goofy rules. I ignored her (as I do always) and was busy inserting my big guy inside that smaller void. That ferocious young, ugly lady came behind and started crying: “You must listen all the instructions. We are not going to repeat again.” “Ah this sucks man, who will listen these boring lectures” I told to myself. Anyway, there was no way to go; I turned my face and started listening impatiently (obviously, I was busy on other side).
“Who is Puneet Sharma??” One dolt shouted and asked me to go inside. Yeah, I was just 10 meters away from my target, my computer where I had to spend 3 precious hours of my life. I sit on the chair and interviewed (Not exactly). I saw one corpulent figure sitting in front of me, glaring me with full anxiety. “You sign in Hindi. Can you produce any identification where you have signed in English?” Lady cried. Ah that was too much, didn’t she know that I belong to MP where my native language is Hindi or she could not realize from my appearance (Untidy and shabby). “Sorry madam, I don’t have” I shouted.
I was really shocked to hear; lady asked me to go outside and confirmed that I couldn’t appear in the test.
***********************************To be continued************************************
Friday, 12 October 2007
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